Overlooked, But Not Undervalued: The Frustration of Being Seen Through the Lens of Illness

There’s a quiet grief that comes from being overlooked — not because you lack talent or capability — but because of something you never chose: your health.

It’s a particular kind of invisibility.

People see the diagnosis, the medical appointments, the days you work flexibly or need to rest — and somewhere along the way, they stop seeing you. They stop seeing the sharp thinker, the creative problem-solver, the person who still has drive and ambition pulsing beneath the surface.

They confuse limitation with lack.

When People Lower the Bar Without Asking You

One of the hardest things is realising that others have quietly recalibrated their expectations of you — without ever having a conversation. They assume smaller dreams for you. Safer projects. Less responsibility. Less challenge.

It can feel like watching your own potential being packed away in a box marked “too complicated”.

What they don’t see is that living with health challenges is its own training ground in resilience, adaptability and problem-solving. It forces a kind of clarity. You learn what matters. You learn how to manage energy, how to prioritise, how to do more with less.

These are professional skills — valuable ones.

But too often, the narrative around illness in the workplace is deficit-based. Focused on what you can’t do.

It leaves little space for what you still can.

The Frustration Runs Deep

It’s a complex frustration. It isn’t about wanting pity or special treatment. It’s about wanting to be recognised fully — illness and ability, side by side. It’s about being trusted to define your own limits, instead of having them defined for you.

Being overlooked can start to erode confidence. You question yourself: Maybe they’re right? Maybe I’m not cut out for this anymore?

But deep down, you know the truth: You are still capable. Still valuable. Still ambitious.

You just need others to meet you where you are — not where they assume you’ve landed.

How Do You Move Forward When This Happens?

It’s not easy. But here’s what I’ve learned:

1. Reclaim Your Narrative

Don’t let other people’s lowered expectations become your internal script. Keep reminding yourself of your skills, your wins, your expertise. Write them down if you need to.

2. Be Direct About What You Want

Sometimes people genuinely don’t realise they’ve side-lined you. If it’s safe to do so, be explicit about your ambitions. Say: “I’m still interested in challenging work. I’d like to be considered for X.”

3. Find (or Build) Spaces That Get It

Look for allies. Find mentors who see your whole self. Connect with others who live and work with health conditions — people who won’t flinch when you say you want more.

And if those spaces don’t exist? Create them.

4. Redefine Success On Your Terms

Maybe your career will look different now. Maybe it won’t follow the traditional ladder. But that doesn’t make it any less valid. Success is deeply personal. Honour the shape yours takes.

Final Thought:

Being overlooked hurts — because it tells us we are only partially seen.

But we are never defined solely by our limits. We are the sum of our strengths, our experience, our wisdom, our creativity.

If you are living in the frustrating gap between what you know you can offer and what others are willing to see — hold on.

Keep showing up. Keep speaking up. Keep doing the work on your terms.

One day, someone will see what you’ve always known to be true:

You were never the problem.

They just weren’t looking closely enough.

#ChronicIllnessAtWork #DisabilityInclusion #Leadership #InvisibleDisabilities #Neurodiversity #EquityAndInclusion #ChronicIllness #WorkplaceCulture #AuthenticLeadership #HumanFirst