Beyond Bad News: The Human Side of Workplace Conversations"

As my ongoing PhD research unfolds, it's revealing something profound: workplace conversations aren't just about what's said - they're about human experiences, vulnerabilities, and the courage it takes to speak up.

Through my current interview and survey work, I'm discovering that beneath every workplace interaction lies a complex web of emotions, power dynamics, and personal histories. These aren't just conversations - they're moments where careers pivot, relationships transform, and lives change.

Beyond Bad News

What's becoming increasingly clear in my research is that we need to challenge our understanding of what makes a conversation 'difficult'. While existing literature has focused heavily on the delivery of bad news - redundancies, poor performance reviews, project failures - my research suggests this is too narrow a view.

Difficult conversations encompass something far more nuanced: they're the personal matters that blur the lines between professional and private life. They're the conversations about managing chronic health conditions, discussing mental health challenges, or navigating workplace adjustments. These aren't simply about delivering information - they're about sharing vulnerabilities, seeking understanding, and building trust.

My research is showing that personal conversations, particularly those with managers, carry a significantly higher emotional weight than work-related discussions. The data suggests that talking about ourselves and our personal circumstances is up to 15.7% more challenging than other workplace conversations. This highlights a crucial gap in how we prepare for and support these interactions.

The Human Element: Why It Really Matters

What makes workplace conversations truly human isn't just the words exchanged - it's the ripple effect they have on people's lives. When an employee struggles to discuss their health condition with their manager, it's not just about requesting adjustments. It's about their dignity, their career aspirations, their ability to bring their whole selves to work. These conversations shape not just workplace experiences, but life experiences.

The Cost of Silence 

My research is revealing a concerning pattern: people often feel unprepared for these human conversations because our workplace cultures have traditionally prioritised professional distance over personal connection. This creates a paradox where the conversations we most need to have become the ones we feel least equipped to handle.

What Holds Us Back? 

Several factors emerge from my data that prevent these crucial conversations from happening:

• Fear of Judgement: Concerns about being seen as 'less capable' or 'problematic' 

• Professional Boundaries: Uncertainty about where personal disclosure becomes 'too much' 

• Lack of Models: Few examples of these conversations being handled well 

• Cultural Norms: Workplace environments that prioritise task over human connection

• Previous Experiences: Past negative reactions creating reluctance to open up

The Impact of Avoidance 

When these conversations don't happen, the costs are significant. My research indicates that avoided conversations lead to: 

• Increased stress and anxiety 

• Reduced job satisfaction 

• Missed opportunities for support

•Decreased productivity 

• Damaged workplace relationships 

• Potential health implications

Breaking the Silence 

What's particularly striking is that while 87% of participants reported feeling unprepared for personal conversations at work, those who did have positive experiences described them as transformative. These successful interactions often led to stronger workplace relationships, better support systems, and increased job satisfaction.

My research is uncovering three critical elements that shape these interactions:

Power and Hierarchy: The simple act of speaking up at work is rarely simple at all. Each conversation carries the weight of organisational hierarchies, professional relationships, and personal power dynamics. Whether it's a junior employee gathering courage to discuss their health condition or a manager navigating a sensitive performance issue, power shapes how we speak, what we say, and sometimes more importantly - what remains unsaid.

Emotional Intelligence in Action: What's striking me most as I conduct this research is how emotions ripple through workplace conversations. Fear, anxiety, hope, and relief don't just influence these discussions - they fundamentally shape their outcomes. The most successful conversations aren't necessarily the most eloquent, but rather those where both parties feel safe enough to be vulnerable.

The Preparation Paradox: Perhaps most surprisingly, my emerging research findings are revealing that while preparation matters, it's not always in the ways we might expect. The most effective conversations often aren't the most meticulously planned, but rather those where participants had prepared emotionally and created space for authentic dialogue.

Why This Matters

 In our drive for workplace efficiency, we often reduce conversations to mere information exchange or focus solely on the delivery of difficult news. But my research is showing that this approach misses something crucial: the human element. Every workplace conversation is an opportunity - not just for communication, but for connection, understanding, and growth.

As we build more inclusive workplaces, particularly for those managing health conditions, understanding these deeper dynamics becomes essential. It's not just about having the right policies or procedures - it's about creating environments where personal matters can be discussed openly, where vulnerability is seen as strength, and where difficult conversations can happen safely and productively.

The way forward isn't about finding perfect scripts or foolproof frameworks. Instead, it's about recognising that workplace conversations are fundamentally human experiences, requiring courage, empathy, and understanding from all involved.

This blog post reflects preliminary findings from ongoing PhD research into difficult workplace conversations . As the research continues, I look forward to sharing more insights about how we can create more supportive and inclusive workplace environments.

Reflection Points:

For Leaders: 

• When was the last time someone shared something personal with you at work? What made that moment possible? 

• How do you create psychological safety in your one-to-ones? What signals might you be unknowingly sending that could discourage openness? 

• What assumptions do you hold about 'professional boundaries' - and how might these be limiting meaningful workplace conversations?

For Everyone: 

• Think about a conversation you're avoiding at work. What's really holding you back? Is it the conversation itself, or what you believe it says about you? 

• How comfortable do you feel bringing your whole self to work? What would need to change for that comfort level to increase? 

• When did you last feel truly heard at work? What made that experience different?

For Organisations: • How does your workplace culture support or hinder personal conversations? 

• What signals does your organisation send about vulnerability and openness? 

• Are your policies around workplace adjustments enabling conversations or creating barriers?

The Bigger Picture: 

• How might our workplaces change if we viewed difficult conversations as opportunities for connection rather than challenges to overcome? 

• What could be possible if we prioritised psychological safety as much as we prioritise productivity? 

• How might your working life be different if you felt truly prepared for personal conversations at work?

I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. What resonates most with your workplace experience?